The cool thing about being one of the Popular Girls is that you can be one of them if you have the discipline to do what it takes…it is within your power! However, it really does take a lot of work. I’ve lived on both sides of the fence as part of the “Popular Girls” and a “Floater” (which I define as someone who has friends in lots of groups), and I discovered that it’s actually pretty easy to become one of the “Popular Girls” as long as you are willing to adhere to the rules:
- Dress in the Latest Styles: Look at Seventeen Magazine, Teen Vogue and Lucky to see what is in style, and go to the mall and look at Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister and Norstrom’s BP department! If you don’t have a lot of money, go to Target’s website and try to find similar clothes, but splurge if you can on a few really nice accessories, like a Coach pocketbook. If you don’t have a great fashion sense—look at what is on the mannequin and feel free to copy it if you aren’t great at putting clothes together yourself. Don’t insist on doing things your own way and then get upset when you don’t fit in. Being one of the “Popular Girls” is really all about fitting in….that’s why those girls always look like they stepped right out of a magazine.
- 2. Grooming Counts! Every morning, take time to make sure your hair is styled cute and you look your best when you walk out the door. Don’t skimp. Yes, it’s work, and you have to wake up early to do it. Do you want to be part of the “in-crowd” or not? If so, this is just part of the deal. People make a mistake when they say grooming doesn’t matter because people should accept them for who they are. Good grooming is just part of being polite—you should dress well and pull yourself together to show respect for those around you. Who wants to see your messy hair and your disheveled clothes? Did you think people wouldn’t notice if you forgot to shave? C’mon, Girls! People enjoy seeing others who are attractive, well-put together, and in good physical shape, and if you are consistent about your personal grooming, others will want to be around you.
- 3. Be Thin and Fit: Being overweight is often taken as a sign by others that you have some emotional problem at worst, or a simple lack of discipline at best. And being overweight is likely to sap your confidence, which makes it harder to feel like you fit in with anyone who is “cool.” So do what you need to do to get thin and fit. Everybody’s body is different, and there are skinny girls who can eat pizza and hamburgers, and girls who can barely eat 1,200 calories a day if they want to stay thin. Life isn’t fair when it comes to body types and metabolism. Figure out what YOU need to do to be thin, and do it, if you want to be part of the popular crowd. Why? For the same reason you should dress cute….it is respectful to others to look good for them, and it conforms to today’s most common beauty standards.
- 4. Set High Standards for Yourself…and your friends: If you are hanging out with girls who don’t care as much as you do about how they look, rise above them when it comes to fashion, and be very consistent. Work slowly to make friends with some of the girls in the popular group—don’t push yourself on them. Just stand out in the crowd as being very pretty, well-groomed, and friendly on a consistent basis. If you do, you’ll get noticed by the other Popular Girls as “Popular” material. Make a point of going out and being friendly to one or two of the Popular Girls at a party or in a club.
- 5. Make Yourself Available When You Get Invited Out: If you are very consistent about your grooming and style, you will eventually get invited into the “in-crowd.” Keep your cell phone on.
- 6. Have a Great Facebook page, and “friend” cool people: If you want to be one of the Popular Girls, your online appearance needs to be just as polished and cool as your physical appearance in real life.
- 7. Learn How to Meet and Greet People, and Don’t be Shy! When speaking with others, always look them in the eye and be genuinely interested in what they are saying. When you meet someone, assume they will like you (or at least pretend you feel that way) and meet them with confidence! Smile and be confident!
- 8. Join Teams and Clubs, Especially Sports (If You Can): It is important to be good at something outside of school, and follow some of your own genuine interests. That makes you an interesting and fun person to be around. It is also important to do some of the same things the other Popular Girls are doing. If they all play volleyball, sign up! Don’t worry about whether you will be good or not. Just do it. If you aren’t good at it, develop a healthy ability to laugh at yourself, try hard to improve, and be a good teammate and sport. If you can’t make whatever team the other popular girls are on (if there is one), or if it REALLY isn’t your thing, focus on finding other common interests so members of the Popular Girl group can get some experience with you as a person outside of school. Shine at what you do!
- 9. Laugh Off Meanness! Lots of Popular Girl groups have a “Queen Bee” who is just plain mean. She rules her group by making sure all the members know she can expel them at any time, and the other Popular Girls live in fear of her. I give the Queen Bee her credit…she is very effective! She or the others may test your confidence by being mean to you before welcoming you as a member of the group, and this may go on for a while, especially if others are trying to keep you out of the group by painting you as a “wannabe.” Whenever someone is mean, laugh it off. It may bother you on the inside, but don’t show it! Present a cool, good-natured demeanor that nobody can shake, and before you know it, the Popular Girls will welcome you as one of their own! Need a comeback? See my related article on “How to Deal with Meanness.”
- 10. Date a Cute Guy—but not too many or too often: If you do date someone, make sure he is cute and the kind of guy that others think is cute as well. Some girls think that to be popular, they need to be really physical with guys. That isn’t true. I’ve known Popular Girls who definitely set boundaries when it comes to being overly physical, and while some boys may call them Ice Queens, most people respect them more. Plus, being really physical can cost you your reputation and allow others to label you as “easy” or “sleazy.” That isn’t a label you want to wear…it won’t look cute on you.